IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Families who sent their children to private school not be required to pay taxs' that support State education system.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#families #children #school #taxs #support #education #system
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Some argue that there is no need to pay
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 for aiding
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
 education system if their
children
Use synonyms
 study in a private
school
Use synonyms
. I strongly oppose
this
Linking Words
 Statement because it is against their social responsibility and can create inequality among
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, paying
taxes
Use synonyms
 to a country is a legal responsibility of
its'
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 citizens because it is used for supporting different sectors like health and education.
Hences
Correct your spelling
Hence
, if a group of
people
Use synonyms
 decide not to pay their
taxes
Use synonyms
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
 are being educated
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 private schools
then
Linking Words
 it will be a huge burden for poor families to pay for all those
taxes
Use synonyms
 and eventually,
this
Linking Words
 will decrease
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of a country and can have a negative impact on
children
Use synonyms
 from
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
back ground
Correct your spelling
background
show examples
. So, in that sense,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that it is appropriate not to pay
taxes
Use synonyms
 in a society
Secondly
Linking Words
, every child has the right to be educated .
Therefore
Linking Words
, not paying
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 is an opposition to
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 to be educated. As we know that not all families can't afford to pay for
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to educate their
children
Use synonyms
.
hence
Linking Words
, the only way for those
people
Use synonyms
 is to send their
children
Use synonyms
 to
state
Add an article
a state
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to
Add a missing verb
be educated
show examples
educated
Change the form of the verb
educate
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 create
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inequality among
people
Use synonyms
 only rich
people
Use synonyms
 will be educated in society
whereas
Linking Words
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 will not.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it will cause
racisim
Correct your spelling
racism
 in communities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, paying
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 is important whether
children
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Add an article
a study
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in private or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
state schools.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly oppose the idea of
tax
Use synonyms
 exemption for
people
Use synonyms
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 are in private
school
Use synonyms
 and
other's
Change noun form
others
show examples
 who pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the levy for the progress of the country and for their
children
Use synonyms
's future
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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