IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that activities during the free-time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience

#people #activities #free-time #data
In today’s
time
 and age, everyone is so busy and occupied with work.
People
 hardly get any
time
 for pastime
activities
. An ongoing debate highlights a similar issue where some
people
 believe that pastime activity should not be planned
whereas
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others are of the opinion that it should be planned and scheduled beforehand. Planned leisure activity has many advantages. One
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
 benefits is, it saves the person from wasting
time
,
exploring
Correct word choice
and exploring
show examples
 options.
For example
, if a family plan their
vacation
 early, they might end up booking a flight and a good hotel at a reasonable price.
Also
, it would help
people
 in choosing a better place for
vacation
.
This
 would save
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
time
, money and energy.
On the other hand
, if someone goes without any proper planning he might have to compromise on some details.
People
 usually
decides
Change the verb form
decide
show examples
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
vacation
 five months earlier
according to
 a survey.
Although
 some
people
 get satisfaction from planning earlier
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
, I personally think that planned
activities
 do not give you excitement or
adrenaline
Correct article usage
an adrenaline
show examples
 rush. It more seems like a task that should be done in
a
Change the word
your
show examples
 free
time
.
According to
 a survey by Pakistan national tourism academy,
people
 who don’t plan their leisure
activities
 be it a
vacation
, sports, reading, gardening, playing
videogames
Correct your spelling
video games
show examples
, meeting close friends/ family or simply going on a drive are much happier when compared to
people
 who plan everything.
However
, unplanned activity does take up half of
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 free
time
 in thinking and deciding what should he or she do. In conclusion, both sides have their pros and cons. Planned
activities
 give you relaxation and peace of mind and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unplanned ones pump you up.
Submitted by aribaatique11 on

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