IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #information #percentage #population #areas #parts #world #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar graph gives
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 ratio and
also
 depicts the future percentage of people living in six different countries namely,
asia
Change the capitalization
Asia
show examples
,
africa
Change the capitalization
Africa
show examples
, Europe,
latin
Change the capitalization
Latin
show examples
America
 and
oceania
Change the capitalization
Oceania
show examples
 in three different years (1950, 2007, 2050).
Overall
, the highest percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 belongs to
north
Change the capitalization
North
show examples
America
 (64%, 79%, 90%)
whereas
 Africa has the lowest percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 in 1950 and in 2007
however
, the rate will increase to 62% in 2050 but it will still be less from the other six countries. It is clear from the data shown in the graph, the
population
 of Europe and
latin
Change the capitalization
Latin
show examples
America
 was above 40% in 1950 and raised to
70’s
Fix apostrophe usage
’70s
show examples
 in 2007.In 2050,
however
,it is expected that the
population
 of both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nations will exceed 83% .The
population
 of
north
Change the capitalization
North
show examples
America
 and
oceania
Change the capitalization
Oceania
show examples
 was below 65% in 1950.the rate raised to
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
79% in
north
Change the capitalization
North
show examples
America
 and 76% in
oceania
Change the capitalization
Oceania
show examples
 in the year 2007. The expected rate of
oceania
Change the capitalization
Oceania
show examples
is less than
north
Change the capitalization
North
show examples
America
 in 2050 (76% when compared
to90
Correct your spelling
to 90
%). To illustrate, the graph shows an increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 showing that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 has increased over the years and it will keep on increasing till 2050.
Submitted by aribaatique11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words america, oceania, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • economic development
  • historical urbanization
  • trends and outliers
  • urbanization levels
  • socio-economic implications
  • environmental impact
  • urban living
  • global trend
  • development strategies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: