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Band 4.5

: Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward student who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #student #improvements
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Some people prefer that schools must reward
students
 who ace their academic results,
whereas
 others believe that it is vital to appreciate
students
 who show improvements. on
one
 hand, rewarding
students
 who are good at
academics
 can have a lot of positives.
for instance
, let's say a student was the topper of the class and he was appreciated with some gift on a stage in front of all his classmates, parents and teachers. He will feel proud and honoured to get the reward. It
is definitely be
Change the verb form
is definitely
show examples
 a strong motivation thing to him and he tries to maintain the same intent for upcoming tests.
Moreover
, it inspires his classmates to work towards increasing their
scores
 in
academics
. on another hand, rewarding
students
 who show improvements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academics
 is equally important because it encourages many people who are trying hard to get better
scores
 than previous
scores
. It is not possible for each and every student to become the best at
academics
 but they are trying their best to improve their
scores
. so If the school recognise their hard work and rewards some gift. It is going to encourage them and inspire a lot of
students
 who are working hard to improve their
scores
. In my opinion, schools should reward both academic toppers and who are trying hard to improve their
scores
. schools come up with two different types of rewards
one
 for academic
acers
Correct your spelling
acres
 and
one
 for improved
scores
. ,
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
 even
one
 student
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 motivated by providing rewards to improve
score
Correct pronoun usage
their score
his score
her score
show examples
 which is a positive thing.
Submitted by amith5260 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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