Question : some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and town, leaving only old people in countryside. What problem does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?
Young
people
are having
a tendency to settle down in the urban Wrong verb form
have
areas
but leave only the elderly to stay in the rural sectors. The development
of the country
might be affected since the population density
unbalances. The government
should distribute entertainment services and have a campaign to push firms to construct headquarters in more areas
.
Knowing that the city centre brings people
convenience since most relaxation activities or people
's workplace are all focused on there, so
, Rephrase
apply
people
choose to leave the countryside. However
, this
can lead to Correct article usage
an unbalance
unbalance
population, the young Replace the word
unbalanced
people
's density
and old people
's density
are
having majority gap and the Verb problem
have
country
itself can not uniform development
. For instance
, in Hanoi, although
this
city is the capital of Vietnam because the citizen density
is not balanced, only several districts are economically stable and attracting tourism. Vietnam is still staying at a developing country
and having
Wrong verb form
has had
low
GDP since Correct article usage
a low
then
. For that reason, distribute
population Wrong verb form
distributed
density
plays a vital role in development
and integration.
To prevent this
obstacle, the government
should set up more entertainment and convenient services such
as modern hospitals, and varieties kind of shopping malls in rural areas
. Moreover
, to contribute to the uniform economy and attract young citizens to choose to stay in the countryside, the government
should push more companies to build headquarters in rural areas
. For that reason, young people
can experience life in rural areas
as same as when they live in the city without travel
far away from their jobs.
In conclusion, young Wrong verb form
travelling
people
only staying in the urban sectors can lead to stagnation country
's development
. The government
should consider this
obstacle more seriously and provide services and firms in rural areas
.Submitted by cynthiaquynhphan on
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses some key points and gives relevant examples, but it could be more specific in addressing the problems caused by young people leaving the countryside. Ensure that all aspects of the question are fully addressed in your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
You provide a well-structured introduction and conclusion, and your essay is generally well-organized. However, some parts could be more logically linked to improve coherence and cohesion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...