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Band 5

in the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Show advantage and disadvantage

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #show #advantage
It is true that since the advent of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 there are changes in how people communicate and do different errands. There are some for and against
with
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apply
show examples
this
 issue as I will discuss in my essay. On one hand, there are various benefits of using the internet.
Firstly
, as
Replace the word
it's
it is
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its
Change the pronoun
it
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said
Add a comma
,said
show examples
 you can do your shopping
via
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apply
show examples
online whether it is
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for cloths
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cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
,
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
, groceries and hotel accommodations.
This
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 life easier and you can save quite a lot of money and time.
Secondly
, working remotely is
also
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
beneficial
on
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for
show examples
 some especially the one who have the facilities at home to cater
this
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to this
show examples
set up
Correct your spelling
set-up
show examples
.
This
mean
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means
show examples
 they can work
on
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at
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there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 own pace and comfort. And
lastly
, communication
via
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apply
show examples
online is surprisingly quicker, you can send an e-mail
any where
Join the words
anywhere
show examples
 in the world and the recipient can receive it in less
a
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than a
show examples
minute.
This
 might be ninety
percent
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per cent
show examples
 quicker and
efficient
Correct quantifier usage
more efficient
show examples
 than posting it by snail mail.
On the other hand
, the negative effect of
this
 vast use of technology is
Correct article usage
the lost
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lost
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loss
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 of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
 interaction. If a
person
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used to
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 at his computer all the time and
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 it as
hobby
Add an article
a hobby
show examples
 at the same time, it can lead to some mental problems.
A depression
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Depression
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 might be one
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
 of
Add an article
an illness
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illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 that can occur
of
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from
show examples
 not having a real
person
 to talk to. Not only that it might hinder that
person
 to socialize
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 any individual outside the online world which can be devastating to any
person
. In conclusion, I believe that there
various
Add a missing verb
are various
show examples
 benefits of
advent
Add an article
the advent
show examples
 of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to make each individual life comfortable,
however
,
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 should do
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 best to have a
balancee
Correct your spelling
balanced
balance
 healthy life by trying to initiate
conversation
Add an article
a conversation
the conversation
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a real
person
 once in a
while
.
Submitted by Maria_magsakay on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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