IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that governments need to prioritize the treatment and management od diseases of the people in the community. Otherss say that it should pay attention to primary health care more. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

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some populations who have a positive attitude toward the
Use synonyms
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
 must increase the
quality
Use synonyms
 of hospitals and pay attention more to the
quality
Use synonyms
 of treatment
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
.
in contrast
Linking Words
,if
governments
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 protect society from
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
show examples
 variety of diseases, they must support primary
health
Use synonyms
 care more than past. in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I want to discuss both sides of viewpoints and give my perspective. on the one hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that
governments
Use synonyms
 must rise the
quality
Use synonyms
 of treatment and control illness. from
this
Linking Words
 point of view, if the state increases the
quality
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 of hospitals or found a better way to solve illnesses, people are able to live better.
for example
Linking Words
, the development of drugs can solve most of the problems of patients.
furthermore
Linking Words
, from social
standpoints
Fix the agreement mistake
standpoint
show examples
 increasing
Correct article usage
the
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
health
Change preposition
of health
show examples
 systems can grow people's satisfaction.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, many commentators justifiably argue that there are several merits if the
governments
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 pay attention more to primary
health
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 care. they believe the states must learn to children
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do every logic that have benefits for
body
Add an article
the body
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.
such
Linking Words
 as, they must brush
teeth
Correct pronoun usage
their teeth
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 every
days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
 or they must do
excercis
Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
 every day.
moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 method to finds it easy to reduce most of the budget of
governments
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. in conclusion, in my
personaly
Correct your spelling
personal
 opinion, if the
governments
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 want to
successful
Change the word
successfully
show examples
 to
impeove
Correct your spelling
improve
 their
health
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 problem, they must do both of
these theory
Change the determiner
this theory
these theories
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 to be
win
Add an article
a win
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. so
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both view are
imortant
Correct your spelling
important
 to
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 people that need to improve
Use synonyms
quality
Correct pronoun usage
their quality
show examples
 of
health
Use synonyms
.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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