Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#music #society #culture #world #people #individuals #societies #influence

It is true that

music

is a radical element in every single society and culture nowadays. There are different perspectives between the two groups of the public about

music

Rephrase

how music

show examples

could bring numerous advantages and disadvantages to

individuals

and nations.

This

essay will articulate some of the agreement and disagreement points of

this

situation in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, the prime of

music

for the community is that it could unwind and relax their mindset.

For instance

, a lot of

people

would think that

music

brings energy and cheers them up when they are feeling upset and depressed. As we all know,

music

could be a great way to treat illnesses

such

as depression, insomnia and so on.

Therefore

, it is essential in the healthcare field, especially for those residents in the local.

On the other hand

, some

people

think that

music

can have a negative impact on

individuals

and societies. One reason is that there are different types of melodies like soft

music

, R&B, heavy metal and so on. It is no douth that soft

music

could get

people

to feel relaxed and chill during they need to get rid of their stress.

However

, there are a few disadvantages for teenagers and younger

people

because they enjoy listening to heavy metal

music

or some emotional

music

. To explain,

this

kind of

music

will influence their emotion and

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

Consequently

individuals

could do something that might hurt themselves or damage their personal belongings. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree that

music

could be beneficial for

individuals

and culture but the younger generations should assume their part of the responsibility to choose properly for the

music

they listen to.

Submitted by kpplau on Wed Feb 15 2023

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task response

The essay needs a more clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Make sure to address both views and give your own opinion. Use specific examples and develop your ideas further.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the coherence by organizing the essay with clear paragraph structures. Use linking words to create a logical flow and ensure the introduction and conclusion effectively present the ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Harmony
Melody
Rhythm
Socio-cultural
Artistic expression
Cognitive development
Soundtrack
Moral implications
Acoustic ecology
Intellectual property
Authenticity
Commercialization
Media literacy
Sensory overload
Acculturation

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Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?