Music is played in every society and culture in the world today. Some people think that music brings only benefits to individuals and societies. Others, however, think that music can have a negative influence on both. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that
music
is a radical element in every single society and culture nowadays. There are different perspectives between the two groups of the public about music
could bring numerous advantages and disadvantages to Rephrase
how music
individuals
and nations. This
essay will articulate some of the agreement and disagreement points of this
situation in the forthcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, the prime of music
for the community is that it could unwind and relax their mindset. For instance
, a lot of people
would think that music
brings energy and cheers them up when they are feeling upset and depressed. As we all know, music
could be a great way to treat illnesses such
as depression, insomnia and so on. Therefore
, it is essential in the healthcare field, especially for those residents in the local.
On the other hand
, some people
think that music
can have a negative impact on individuals
and societies. One reason is that there are different types of melodies like soft music
, R&B, heavy metal and so on. It is no douth that soft music
could get people
to feel relaxed and chill during they need to get rid of their stress. However
, there are a few disadvantages for teenagers and younger people
because they enjoy listening to heavy metal music
or some emotional music
. To explain, this
kind of music
will influence their emotion and feeling
. Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
Consequently
, individuals
could do something that might hurt themselves or damage their personal belongings.
In conclusion, i
agree that Change the capitalization
I
music
could be beneficial for individuals
and culture but the younger generations should assume their part of the responsibility to choose properly for the music
they listen to.Submitted by kpplau on
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task response
The essay needs a more clear and comprehensive response to the prompt. Make sure to address both views and give your own opinion. Use specific examples and develop your ideas further.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence by organizing the essay with clear paragraph structures. Use linking words to create a logical flow and ensure the introduction and conclusion effectively present the ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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