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Band 5.5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise, they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time
It is often said that juveniles should spend their free
time
 on educational purposes and not
to
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waste their
time
by
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doing other activities.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 statement because
children
 would burn out and not
to
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have friends. Many parents say that their minors ought to educate themselves all the
time
 and it leads to losing motivation to
study
. It means, if
children
study
 all
day
 without rest, they will get in stress and lose their desire to learn new things.
Moreover
, they can be overwhelmed by much information
thus
 leading to slow
juveniles
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juveniles'
juvenile's
show examples
 brains.
For instance
, students in South Korea
study
 ten or eleven hours a
day
 so they feel that there is a lot of pressure from their parents and fall into depression.
Furthermore
,
children
 who
study
 all
day
 cannot make friends just because they do not have enough
time
. As they do not have peers who can play with them they may be deprived of good surroundings, so they grow up without fun and think that
this
 life is not interesting.
Children
 would not be able to share their feelings and thoughts with anyone if they did not make friends at school or on the playground. In conclusion, people should allow their minors to spend their leisure
time
 as productively as possible but it does not mean that they should
study
 and learn new things
day
 by
day
.
Children
 need rest and
a
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good society to continue their education without burning out and depression. I believe if they relax properly, their will to
the
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study
 will grow.
Submitted by zbirliknur01 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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