Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise, they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

It is often said that juveniles should spend their free

time

on educational purposes and not

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waste their

time

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doing other activities.

This

essay disagrees with

this

statement because

children

would burn out and not

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have friends. Many parents say that their minors ought to educate themselves all the

time

and it leads to losing motivation to

study

. It means, if

children

study

all

day

without rest, they will get in stress and lose their desire to learn new things.

Moreover

, they can be overwhelmed by much information

thus

leading to slow

juveniles

Change noun form

juveniles'

juvenile's

show examples

brains.

For instance

, students in South Korea

study

ten or eleven hours a

day

so they feel that there is a lot of pressure from their parents and fall into depression.

Furthermore

children

who

study

all

day

cannot make friends just because they do not have enough

time

. As they do not have peers who can play with them they may be deprived of good surroundings, so they grow up without fun and think that

this

life is not interesting.

Children

would not be able to share their feelings and thoughts with anyone if they did not make friends at school or on the playground. In conclusion, people should allow their minors to spend their leisure

time

as productively as possible but it does not mean that they should

study

and learn new things

day

Children

need rest and

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good society to continue their education without burning out and depression. I believe if they relax properly, their will to

the

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study

will grow.

Submitted by zbirliknur01 on Wed Feb 15 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise, they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers and malls to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

In some countries, students live at home with their family while they study at university, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?