IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000
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The bar chart depicts the offering of three sectors (agriculture,
industry
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and services) to India's GPD from 1960 to 2000 divided into 5 different intervals.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be observed that agriculture was at its peak in 1960 outnumbering other sectors by a huge margin, but by that time, it kept falling and came to the bottom in 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the Services sector increased sharply,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the
industry
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 section rose a bit,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 it became steady. In the year 1960, agriculture assisted as the highest contributor to India's GDP with a proportion of around 62% outnumbering other zones by a huge margin.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it fell significantly over the years and in the year 2000, it had the least contribution to the GDP with a percentage of just under 15. The
industry
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 part had a percentage of around 16% in 1960 and it increased marginally and by the year ,1980 it assisted with 25%. As per the graph, the services
industry
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 had least numbers in 1960 around 18% but it significantly rose over the years and in 2000 it was highest with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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62%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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