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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many people do not exercise enough and eat an unhealthy diet. Why is this happening? What can be done to help them improve their lifestyle?

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Maintaining a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is very crucial for our life. It leads us to be productive. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 lead busy life
due to
Linking Words
 work, study pressure and many more. It creates
imbalance
Add an article
an imbalance
show examples
 in their regular routine including,less exercising and not maintaining healthy food habits. A number of steps, I do believe, can be taken to minimize
this
Linking Words
 problem. First of all,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 aim to lead luxury style. Leading
this
Linking Words
 type of
lifestyle
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 requires
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money •As an effect, they concentrate on work and extend their
their
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
working schedule until midnight.
As a consequence
Linking Words
,they value more on work
, but
Correct quantifier usage
more, but
show examples
 their health system deteriorating day by day
due to
Linking Words
 lack of taking rest and many more.It has resulted in less productivity not just for individuals but,
also
Linking Words
 for companies.
Besides
Linking Words
, young individuals rely on having
excessive
Add an article
an excessive
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of fast food
that is
Linking Words
 delicious and easy to prepare at affordable cost but it increases
risk
Add an article
the risk
show examples
 of diabetes, gases and so on. Another point to illustrate is that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, if not all, have become engaged in indoor activities.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 playing online games,
watching
Correct word choice
and watching
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 TV for a long time, lead them,eventually,to get
overweighted
Replace the word
overweight
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 and feel obese.
However
Linking Words
, there are many alternative ways to minimize those problems and improve
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.First and foremost,if we reduce our working schedule,we can be feeling relaxed and can allocate those time to families or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 exercise for keeping ourselves fit.
Besides
Linking Words
, rising awareness is a must in
this
Linking Words
 regard.To illustrate
this
Linking Words
 point, governments should make some laws to limit working schedules and organise campaigns about health issues .
People
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to perform outdoor
activating
Replace the word
activities
show examples
 for enjoying healthy lifestyles.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is true that
people
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 do not maintain
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
show examples
,but they have to understand the value of
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.They should do something for their betterment

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