The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

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Three pie charts illustrate Americans added how many nutrients in different meals.
Overall
,
this
chart showed 3 types of nutrients add breakfast lunch
snacks
and
dinner
meals
while
it is clear that
most ingredients add to
dinner
.
To begin
with,
dinner
constitutes
sodium
and fat, and sugar 43% 37% 23% respectively.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
dinner
consists of little sugar and most
sugars
Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
show examples
added in
snacks
.
Moreover
, fat and
sodium
are
also
added
snacks
Change preposition
to snacks
show examples
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
21% and 14% respectively. Thirty-one is lunch which constitutes 29%
sodium
26% fat and 19% lunch.
On the contrary
, breakfast consists of
little
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
ingredients rather than other meals. Fat and sugar amount are the same at 16%
while
sodium
is the same amount as
snacks
.
Submitted by gulnaar.badalovaa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words snacks, dinner, sodium with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutrients
  • Unhealthy
  • Daily intake
  • Percentage
  • Carbohydrates
  • Fats
  • Proteins
  • Meals
  • Balanced diet
  • Consumption
  • Excess
  • Health implications
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Heart disease
  • Convenience foods
  • Fast foods
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Healthy eating habits
  • Dietary recommendations
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