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Band 4

Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#people #home
In recent years, there is a tendency of
people
feeingl
Correct your spelling
feel
feeling
 anxious when they are going out or they are staying at their own house. The main reason for
this
 phenomenon of being stolen by criminals even if they stay at home or go to society, and
this
 essay
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 point out some solutions to tackle
this
 tendency. There is no denying the fact that
with
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apply
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the advent of economic recession and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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nonchalant government policies,
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
 to the turning of dwellers into criminals,
thiefs
Correct your spelling
thieves
show examples
 and social
burden
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burdens
show examples
. In the majority of cases, law breakers were born in light of
lacking
Wrong verb form
the lack
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 society’s education system.
School children
Correct your spelling
Schoolchildren
show examples
 do not have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right point of view about acting with older generations and other
people
;
for instance
, their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 easily goes back to the social standard.
Besides
, the incorrect legislations become a trigger of pushing humans into hardship, which easily turn them into
social
Add an article
a social
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 burden. To grapple with problems, I firmly believe
that
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in
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 diminishing criminal rates by appointing an agency representative in each district to help dwellers tackle their challenges.
People
 will have a chance to receive a backup from the agency during their
adminitration
Correct your spelling
administration
;
as a result
, they will easily deal with their burden
as well as
 their problems.
Furthermore
, covering the house with security appliances
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can help the host
from breaking
Wrong verb form
break
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 the house to take away
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
 and valuable items. In conclusion, the phenomenon of
people
 feeling unsafe whether they stay at home or they go out needs the right attention in light of its drawbacks. I consider the disadvantage of
this
 tendency can
leave
Verb problem
have
show examples
 extreme consequences.
Submitted by hoang.b.lam88 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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