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Band 4.5

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions
Children
 as part of milestones of human
development
 have a great tendency of improving not only their cognitive
development
 but
also
emotional
Correct pronoun usage
their emotional
show examples
development
.
That is
 an inevitable process that happens in their life because at that moment
children
 tend to be more curious. Some people say that letting
children
 make their own wishes on a daily basis
such
 as edible material, attire, and amusement activities is more than likely to become selfish when considering their preferences.
However
,others assume that it is really important for
children
 to start independent stuff based on their choices. I would like to explain more
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 both views and make the following reasons that are connected with those views.
To begin
 with, parents realize that getting used to good manners starts when they are a child. It relates to the superb
development
 of
children
's brains. As it so, youngsters always get permission from their surroundings to do anything on a daily basis
such
 as choosing edible material, wardrobe, and amusement activities.
As a consequence
,
children
 become more independent and could explain
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the matters that they had to choose. Apart from that, some
expertises
Correct your spelling
expertise
show examples
 argue that applying that rule is making
children
 become selfish or low-self aware. As a clear illustration, a youngster's brain is not mature enough to absorb all things which are not only good matters but
also
 opposite ones. So, as a parent, they have to
immitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on the reason that they have chosen and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not fix all their considerations in all things that happen in their life. Sometimes,
children
 have to listen to others' opinions when they do not truly agree about their thoughts. All in all, Letting
children
 choose on
a daily basis items
Correct the article-noun agreement
daily basis items
a daily basis item
show examples
such
 as food, wardrobe, and entertainment is one of the ways to make them independent humans. But, it is not fixed up to apply
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 entire life matters.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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