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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interactions today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #smartphones #interactions
It is undeniable that mobile phones
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 brought
obout
Correct your spelling
about
 significant changes in our lives
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 way we communicate.
However
, these advancements
such
 as the
use
 of social media platforms and video call applications have led to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 social
interactions
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will give reasons as to why I agree with
this
 statement. Foremost, our communication has been improved significantly by the
use
 of smartphones,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 we can talk or send messages and photos to people who are in another country using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different social media applications
such
 as Snapchat, and Facebook
Also
, today someone
canattend
Correct your spelling
can attend
 meetings via the
use
 of video conferencing application like zoom which they can
use
 comfortably at the comfort of their homes or office
therefore
, eliminate the need for physical
interactions
.
However
,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
show examples
interactions
 has brought some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 in
such
 settings as some decisions are made by observing
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
show examples
 and physical
ques
Correct your spelling
cues
show examples
 of the participants. Social
interactions
 are essential as they help individuals live
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fulfilling life and
consequently
 build social skills which enable us to live harmoniously with other people. Researchers have shown that having a form of physical interaction with other human beings can greatly improve
ones
Change noun form
one's
show examples
 mental and physical health and
therefore
 Increase by 40% the quality of life lived. In conclusion, as much as we acknowledge the benefits
technological
Change preposition
of technological
show examples
 advancements
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our lives we should
also
 advocate for minimal
use
 so as to encourage people to become social beings.
Submitted by wanjalahope14 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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