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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the number of cases of diarrhea in Mashhad between 1983 and 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the number of cases of diarrhea in Mashhad between 1983 and 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #cases #diarrhea #mashhad #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph compares the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
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cases
 reported in Mashhad , over a
9 - year
Correct your spelling
9-year
 time period from 1983 to 1992 . In general , 1989 was the era that accounted
most
Change preposition
for most
show examples
 amount of
Correct article usage
the diarrhea
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diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
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cases
 in Mashhad .
Whereas
 , the least reporting was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1992 . To be specific , in 1983 only 100 patients
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 estimated to be hospitalized
due to
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
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 in Mashhad , and
this
 had been
stabled
Replace the word
stable
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until 1985 .
However
 , in 1986 the figures
risen
Add the auxiliary verb
rose
have risen
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 slightly and reached approximately 200 victims in 1987 . But , after one year it had experienced a moderate fall
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
cases
,
Remove the comma
apply
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and accounted
around
Change preposition
for around
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 55 suffers .Surprisingly , in 1989 the
cases
 related to
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 had upsurged significantly and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak of 400 patients , which
then
 dropped to 350 victims in 1991 . Meanwhile , in the
finally
Replace the word
final
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 year the reporting for
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
cases
 recorded a sudden collapse in
diarrhea
Change the spelling
diarrhoea
show examples
 rating , which was 0 % .
Submitted by varshajose345 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words diarrhea, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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