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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should attend extra classes after school while some disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #classes #school #disagree
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Modern
life
 can be very taxing,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so education is the prime need of the day. Better education
guarantee
Change the verb form
guarantees
show examples
 better work provisions
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 so better quality of
life
. Extra classes after
school
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considered pertinent by some people,
while
 others opine that they have negative repercussions.
This
 essay
delve
Change the verb form
delves
show examples
 into both views before reaching an opinion. To commence with the facet of the agreement, there
are
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is
show examples
 a myriad of things to be shared in its favour. Primarily, additional
time
 at
school
,
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
show examples
,
ensures
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ensure
show examples
 that the
kids
 are imbibing education under
supervisions
Fix the agreement mistake
supervision
show examples
, rather than engaging in
after
Add a hyphen
after-school
show examples
school
 illegal activities.
For instance
,
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 generation vape research study conducted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New South Wales divulged that most young adults use e-cigarettes after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
. Illegal behaviours
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
a youbg
show examples
youbg
Correct your spelling
young
 age
adversly
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adversely
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 the educational
abd
Correct your spelling
and
 career
prospectives
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
 of the children and
thus
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
 their quality of
life
.
Further
, additional period
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 at
school
 ensures that the
school
 work is done,
further
 imbibing knowledge and interest in subjects to the
kids
.
For example
, in South Korea,
kids
 spend
after
Add a hyphen
after-school
show examples
school
hours
 in private institutions and so is one of the highest generators
PhD
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of PhD
show examples
 scholars in the world. The additional aid in subjects
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
kids
, which is practically impossible to provide
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the designated
school
hours
, ensures that everyone is educated adequately. Shifting towards the second
school
 of thought, attending extra classes after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 has some negative repercussions. Spending more
time
 at
school
 reduces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family
time
 and children need more bonding
time
 with their families to warrant
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 unconditional love and care for them. To exemplify, a Norwegian study analysed the possible reasons for the reduced crime rate in Norway and increased family bonding was stated as one of the reasons.
Thus
, the
congent
Correct your spelling
content
 statement has been vindicated as well.
Moreover
, extra learning
hours
 in some cases increase the exhaustion in
kids
 and reduce the
time
 they spend on
extra curricular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities. The contemporary world needs scholars as well
Correct word choice
as athlets
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athlets
Correct your spelling
athletes
, musicians and artists. To summarise, the two sides of the
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 concerning the prospect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
additional class
hours
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 strong support.
However
, after
thorough
Add an article
a thorough
show examples
 analysis of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides,
it is clear that
 the idea of spending
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 at classes can be bolstered as there are far more advantages
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 disadvantages. So, in my opinion, youngsters should spend more
time
 at
school
 leading to higher values in
life
 and profession.
Submitted by dtifaniya on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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