Some people belive that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #belive #children #time #school #work

Many people believe that children have to spend their free hours on some

study

tasks. But I think

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

time

and

study

time

should be separated. There are some reasons why they have free

time

and

study

time

. First of all, there are various devices or media which children used for studying. It means they expose to things that can interrupt their education.

For example

, students see diverse information on the website when they use google for searching something. So, it makes it hard to focus on their work and has curious regardless of what they are searching for.

Furthermore

, they would need more hours to finish their work. The other reason is that free

time

can help their learning.

For instance

, they would be very tired if they do school work continually. Put another way, they may spend so many hours but it would not be efficient. Because they do not want to

study

for the long term, they will be tired.

For

this

reason, rest and relaxation can accelerate concentration and efficiency. In my son’s case, they are doing it as per his schedule. He really focuses on what he studies or homework. Despite

this

, He enjoys free

time

to do what he wants to do himself.

As a result

, the free

time

for students prevents the stress of studying.

Therefore

, children need to use their free

time

for taking rest and enjoyment.

Submitted by aerim4887 on Fri Feb 17 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

236 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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