IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #information #manufacture #fish #pies #summarise #features #comparisons
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The first diagram shows the main ingredients of a
fish
pie
 in a microwaveable container
while
 the second one reflects the
overall
 process of
fish
pie
 production on a factory scale. Basically,
fish
pie
 consists of peas submerged in a sauce,
fish
 fillets and
potatoes
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
top.The first step consists of
delivery
Add an article
the delivery
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 of
potatoes
 which takes place a month before cleaning , peeling and slicing of
potatoes
. The sliced
potatoes
 are
then
 boiled and left to cool down. After that, chilled
potatoes
 are stored in a microwaveable container.
The next step is
 steaming. Fresh salmon is steamed in an oven after
application
Correct article usage
the application
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 of salt and lemon on it.
The next step is
 removing
of
Change preposition
apply
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skin and bones and
inspection
Replace the word
inspecting
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by
Correct pronoun usage
them by
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human
Correct article usage
a human
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 visualizer, after which it is mixed with peas and dipped in a prepared sauce. Stored
potatoes
 are layered up on top of the
pie
 before wrapping and freezing. The
pie
 is
then
 ready to dispatch after being stored for 12 hours or less. In summary, the production of a
fish
pie
 consists of the following steps, delivery of
potatoes
, processing of
potatoes
, steaming, preparation of
pie
 , packaging, freezing and delivery.
Submitted by aribaatique11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "the next step is".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, pie, potatoes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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