IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.

The line graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.
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The line graph illustrates how people watch and listen to the
radio
Use synonyms
 and television during the day in 1992.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the number of viewers
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 much higher than the
listeners
Correct quantifier usage
number of listeners
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
radio
Use synonyms
. Users of both
radio
Use synonyms
 and TV were especially active
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the afternoon, at 1 PM respectively. But, before that time people
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 to listened
Use synonyms
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
 were higher than the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of TV users so it increased from under 10 per cent to over 20 per cent at 9 AM;
however
Linking Words
, it decreased steadily until the end of the period.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the audience of television had been growing up dramatically and
finally
Linking Words
 reached a peak at 8 PM, under the percentage of 50 and
then
Linking Words
 it continued to fall slowly from 10 PM to 2 AM and again rose slightly after 4 hours.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words radio with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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