The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. 150 words

#graphs #show #music #albums #people #britain #sex #age

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The charts illustrate the percentages of

music

Use synonyms

albums bought by UK inhabitants divided by sex and age. The most notable trend is the similarity between the percentage of people who buy Pop and the ones who buy Rock

Music

Use synonyms

. In these two genres, the relative numbers of purchasers are very similar, with peaks of around 30% for the age brackets of 16-24 years old and 25-34,

whereas

Linking Words

in the 35-44 bracket 25% of people buy these albums.

Finally

Linking Words

, less than 10% of people 45 years old or more buy pop or rock

music

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, classical

music

Use synonyms

has different demography of purchasers. In fact, for

this

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

, the major clients are those older than 45, with 20% of them that buy classical

music

Use synonyms

, followed by the 25-34

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

, with 15% of them acquiring

this

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, considering gender, it can be seen how males are the major acquirers of

music

Use synonyms

, with greater percentages confronted with women in every genre. In conclusion, it can be stated that pop and rock

music

Use synonyms

have similar diffusion among the UK population,

while

Linking Words

classical is more a niche genre, which is more popular among older bands of the population.

Submitted by formaggio124 on Fri Feb 17 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words music with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

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The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. 150 words

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically.As a reasult, some people believe that non-academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school sylabbus so that children can concentrate on academic work

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?