The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. 150 words

The charts illustrate the percentages of

music

Use synonyms

albums bought by UK inhabitants divided by sex and age. The most notable trend is the similarity between the percentage of people who buy Pop and the ones who buy Rock

Music

Use synonyms

. In these two genres, the relative numbers of purchasers are very similar, with peaks of around 30% for the age brackets of 16-24 years old and 25-34,

whereas

Linking Words

in the 35-44 bracket 25% of people buy these albums.

Finally

Linking Words

, less than 10% of people 45 years old or more buy pop or rock

music

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, classical

music

Use synonyms

has different demography of purchasers. In fact, for

this

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

, the major clients are those older than 45, with 20% of them that buy classical

music

Use synonyms

, followed by the 25-34

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

, with 15% of them acquiring

this

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, considering gender, it can be seen how males are the major acquirers of

music

Use synonyms

, with greater percentages confronted with women in every genre. In conclusion, it can be stated that pop and rock

music

Use synonyms

have similar diffusion among the UK population,

while

Linking Words

classical is more a niche genre, which is more popular among older bands of the population.

formaggio124

Feb 17, 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words music with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

196 words

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The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. 150 words

Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

Some feel that it is important for all adults to engage in the arts in the free time as a hobby. Others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:" Advances in technology have made people happier than they were before."? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.