The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. 150 words

#graphs #show #music #albums #people #britain #sex #age

The charts illustrate the percentages of

music

albums bought by UK inhabitants divided by sex and age. The most notable trend is the similarity between the percentage of people who buy Pop and the ones who buy Rock

Music

. In these two genres, the relative numbers of purchasers are very similar, with peaks of around 30% for the age brackets of 16-24 years old and 25-34,

whereas

in the 35-44 bracket 25% of people buy these albums.

Finally

, less than 10% of people 45 years old or more buy pop or rock

music

On the other hand

, classical

music

has different demography of purchasers. In fact, for

this

music

, the major clients are those older than 45, with 20% of them that buy classical

music

, followed by the 25-34

group

Change to a plural noun

groups

show examples

, with 15% of them acquiring

this

music

Overall

, considering gender, it can be seen how males are the major acquirers of

music

, with greater percentages confronted with women in every genre. In conclusion, it can be stated that pop and rock

music

have similar diffusion among the UK population,

while

classical is more a niche genre, which is more popular among older bands of the population.

Submitted by formaggio124 on Fri Feb 17 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words music with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age. 150 words

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Renewable Energy Sources: Advantages and Disadvantages

Some people say that now we can see films watching movies at home is easier and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, movies need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The natural resources such as oil, forests, and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve this problems ?

smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services.one way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. what are the pros and cons of such a government policy ? what alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking ?

Fewer and fewer children are willing to look after their parents as they get older these days. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.