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Band 3.5

The increase in food production is mostly due to fertilizers and better machinery .Yet, some think that it harms human health and communities.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#food #production #fertilizers #machinery #think #health #communities
The improvement in the
food
 industry and
production
 is mostly
due to
fertilizers
 and better
machinery
. There is a belief that
such
 an involvement in the
food
 business
threatening
Wrong verb form
threatens
show examples
 human
health
 and
societies
Fix the agreement mistake
society
show examples
. In my honest opinion, I believe developing
food
production
 generally improves human
health
besides
 the adverse effects of
fertilizers
 and
machinery
. Despite old-style organic farms providing great dairy, vegetables and fruits; industrial
production
 with
fertilizers
 and
machinery
, provide huge amounts of products for cheaper prices.
This
 amount of
production
 will always
decreases
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 market prices and increases
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
 economy.
Eventually
Add a comma
,Eventually
show examples
 development in
this
 sector impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human
health
 and communities. There are thousands of people around the world affected by malnutrition
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of adequate nutrition.
Hence
 unbalanced or inadequate diet can result in illnesses, especially in juveniles,
such
 as mental retardation, growth abnormalities and kwashiorkor diseases;
therefore
production
 quality should be overweight to quantity.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 development in other sectors like transportation, manufacturing, marketplaces, and agriculture improve the life standard of citizens.
Instead
 of minor harms of
fertilizers
 and
machinery
, increased
production
 rate, development in other sectors and solution for malnourishment are important features of industrial
food
production
 and I disagree with the given idea.
Finally
, some think that it harms human
health
 and communities but most of them couldn't remember the market prices of foods, malnutrition reality and growth in different sectors indirectly.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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