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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Young people are now spending more and more time and money following fashion trends. What is your opinion? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #time #money #fashion #trends #development
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development? There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether youngsters have a tendency to spend an amount of
time
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 and
money
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 to keep up with
trends
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 in clothing.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon has both pros and cons,
however
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, its disadvantages may outweigh its counterparts.
With
Change preposition
Without
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 a shadow of a doubt, pursuing the most current styles has a wealth of merits. In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, adolescents learn how to make
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 look more attractive and fashionable by experimenting with new fashion
trends
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.
For example
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, young people can use their fashionable clothes in order to make great first impressions
with
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on
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 others and there is a high chance for the youth to look more confident.
Hence
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, catching up with fashion
trends
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 too much has a wealth of redeeming features. Whilst the redeeming features of pursuing clothes
trends
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 are widely acknowledged, it is obvious that spending too much
time
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 following up-to-the-minute clothes brings an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 effect on youngsters. To be specific, there is a wealth of brands offering customers a range of pricing and styles to pick from, they are frequently wasted on irrelevant things.
For instance
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, annually, big brands like Zara and H&M frequently introduce new collections, some shopaholics may spend
money
Use synonyms
 on the newest fashions,
these
Correct word choice
but these
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 items are often thrown away and unutilized.
Thus
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, young people who follow fashion
trends
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 for an extended period of
time
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 can waste a great deal of
money
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. In conclusion, I believe that spending a huge amount of
time
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 and
money
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 to be fashionable is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 to some extent,
however
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, its disadvantage may outweigh its counterpart.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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