IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There has been a significant
divirgence
Correct your spelling
divergence
 of opinion revolving
aroud
Correct your spelling
around
whether
Correct word choice
apply
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the effectiveness of different approaches towards hunger.Nowadays, it is
common
Add an article
a common
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 belief that
food
Use synonyms
 aid plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 role in tackling hunger whilst others support
an
Correct article usage
the
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 idea that educated
people
Use synonyms
suffer
Add the particle
to suffer
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 less it. As far as I am
concered
Correct your spelling
concerned
, I definitely advocate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education as a key to starvation. The essay will discuss both sides of view. On the one hand, feeding
people
Use synonyms
 in need directly seems to be reasonable. Obviously, in short term it benefits both sides, those who provide and those who receive. By
this
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 mean, that
food
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 provider exposes generosity to the world. As
being
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be
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 useful to or accepted by
the
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apply
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society is one of the most dominant
instinct
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instincts
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 for all human beings, there is
multitude
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a multitude
the multitude
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 of
food
Use synonyms
 aid supporters.
However
Linking Words
, as was mentioned previously,
this
Linking Words
 is
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
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 and cannot be considered as principal in settling the issue down. To illustrate,
food
Use synonyms
 is needed on daily basis
,
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apply
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 and providing it
continuosly reguires
Correct your spelling
continuously requires
 perpetual efforts.
In contrast
Linking Words
, focusing on education allows starving
people
Use synonyms
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
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 their level of life significantly and forever.
In other words
Linking Words
, the more
knowledge
Replace the word
knowledgeable
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 person
acquire
Change the verb form
acquires
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, the less dependable he becomes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, once
the
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apply
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one
achives
Correct your spelling
achieves
archives
 financial independence, he gains the ability to influence his community.
For instance
Linking Words
, the numerous
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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universities offer special scholarships provided by reach
people
Use synonyms
 for
talanted
Correct your spelling
talented
 youth. Undoubtedly, education is
unchallenged
Add an article
an unchallenged
the unchallenged
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 approach
in
Change preposition
to
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 tackling hunger. It allows the
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
transform
Fix the infinitive
to transform
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 from addicted to others' help to independent citizens responsible for the life of their communities.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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