Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.
A variety of social
media
is developing faster and faster. Before decades ago, people
cannot
imagine that Facebook, Instagram or Twitter Wrong verb form
could not
are
becoming important things in life. Some Wrong verb form
were
people
believe that social media
cause
disadvantages for young Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
people
. On the other hand
, some people
think social media
is a tool which benefits connecting with each other. In my point of view, it certainly is a useful way to build relationships but it has a demerit on our society.
The young generation constantly chats with classmates, friends and family via social media
. There is an invisible Internet community is
built by them. They create various types of activity online Unnecessary verb
apply
while
social media
is a convenient way to talk to each.
Correct word choice
other.
In other words
, it can minimize the problem of communication. For example
, people
can use Zoom, an app designed for the purpose of the meeting, regardless of where you are and what time it is.
However
, people
spend more time than expected on social media
. Without guidance from parents and teachers, children are easy to be mean to each other. Bully
is happening every day in school, playgrounds and even on the Internet. Fix the agreement mistake
Bullying
Furthermore
, a face-to-face connection is essential for all of us. Without intimacy, in reality, people
might get used to it when people
give you a cold shoulder. Intimacy can be replaced by technology. Take me as an example, when I was a kid, I am
eager to have friends, but most of them see smartphones as friends. It broke my heart.
In conclusion, social Wrong verb form
was
media
has its advantages, such
as people
can easy to
talk to others online no matter where and when. But I still believe that it is harmful to young Replace the word
easily
people
since strong connection
build on reality.Fix the agreement mistake
connections
Submitted by blair.chang975640 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas, and the connection between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
