Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.
A variety of social
media
is developing faster and faster. Before decades ago, Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
cannot
imagine that Facebook, Instagram or Twitter Wrong verb form
could not
are
becoming important things in life. Some Wrong verb form
were
people
believe that social Use synonyms
media
Use synonyms
cause
disadvantages for young Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
people
. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some Linking Words
people
think social Use synonyms
media
is a tool which benefits connecting with each other. In my point of view, it certainly is a useful way to build relationships but it has a demerit on our society.
The young generation constantly chats with classmates, friends and family via social Use synonyms
media
. There is an invisible Internet community Use synonyms
is
built by them. They create various types of activity online Unnecessary verb
apply
while
social Linking Words
media
is a convenient way to talk to eachUse synonyms
.
Correct word choice
other.
In other words
, it can minimize the problem of communication. Linking Words
For example
, Linking Words
people
can use Zoom, an app designed for the purpose of the meeting, regardless of where you are and what time it is.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
people
spend more time than expected on social Use synonyms
media
. Without guidance from parents and teachers, children are easy to be mean to each other. Use synonyms
Bully
is happening every day in school, playgrounds and even on the Internet. Fix the agreement mistake
Bullying
Furthermore
, a face-to-face connection is essential for all of us. Without intimacy, in reality, Linking Words
people
might get used to it when Use synonyms
people
give you a cold shoulder. Intimacy can be replaced by technology. Take me as an example, when I was a kid, I Use synonyms
am
eager to have friends, but most of them see smartphones as friends. It broke my heart.
In conclusion, social Wrong verb form
was
media
has its advantages, Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
people
can Use synonyms
easy to
talk to others online no matter where and when. But I still believe that it is harmful to young Replace the word
easily
people
since strong Use synonyms
connection
build on reality.Fix the agreement mistake
connections
Submitted by blair.chang975640 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas, and the connection between sentences and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?