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Some people believed that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believed that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #subjects
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Up until today in Indonesia, Physical
Education
 is still included as part of
mandatory
Add an article
the mandatory
show examples
 curriculum for primary to high school students. Some might agree with
this
 practice, but others argue that
children
 should focus more on
academic related
Add a hyphen
academic-related
show examples
subjects
.
This
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of both views. In
this
 era, everything is getting more competitive,
this
 includes the
academia
Replace the word
academic
show examples
 setting. In order for students to get into top institutions, they have to pass exams for mandatory
subjects
such
 as maths, science and English, with remarkable results.
Therefore
, parents who wanted their
children
 to enter good schools would force them to put extra
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 those
subjects
 and reduce the amount of time spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
subjects
 deemed unnecessary for exams -
such
 as sports.
However
, these
subjects
 might not be easy for everyone. If one is forced to spend a lot of their time
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 something that they do not like, they will be stressed out, which
consequently
 makes it harder for them to absorb the studies. Physical exercise might help with
this
 issue.
While
 doing exercise, our body released a chemical substance called dopamine, which can increase
happiness
Correct article usage
the happiness
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 in a person and in return, release stress. When students are more relaxed, it will be easier for them to learn
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more difficult
subjects
. Another reason
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why we should not remove Physical
Education
 is because not every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 has the passion to go
further
 with their higher level of
education
. Some might want to continue as athletes, and
therefore
, making them sit
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a class to revise multiplications and divisions may not be the best option.
Instead
, if they are allowed to focus on exercise, they might flourish in their
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
 of passion. I believe that physical
education
 should not be abolished from
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 curriculum, as
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can provide various benefits to
children
,
such
 as reducing stress and providing them with options aside from academic-related
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by syafiramdr on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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