Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is widely believed that

music

effectively connects

people

regardless

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

diversity in ages and cultures. I personally totally agree with

this

idea because of the various non-linguistic aspects that

music

has, and the longevity of many timeless pieces of

music

. One of the main reasons why I believe

people

from different cultures and regions could be bridged easily using

music

is the non-linguistic nature of it.

In other words

music

, unlike writing documents or verbal language, transfer its meaning via many different elements

such

as rhymes, beats, melodies, and even the visuals of the singers. Language barriers,

therefore

, somewhat become blurred when

people

from different countries listen to a good song.

Moreover

, international fan clubs are ubiquitous nowadays in which fans from all over the world are brought together for a common purpose

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is to support their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

singers or

music

bands. Another reason why I support

this

idea is that good

music

is timeless.

This

means that there are songs lasting for decades or even centuries, enjoyed by various generations. To illustrate, works from Mozart or Beethoven could be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

eternal classic songs since they are broadly listened

and

Change preposition

to and

show examples

performed to

this

day and countless songs using their samples are produced annually.

Along with

the development of recording technology, many old pieces of

music

could be remade, making

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

sound better and easier to reach the young generation

while

offer

Change the verb form

offering

show examples

an optimal version for the elders to enjoy. In conclusion, I completely agree that

music

is an effective tool to connect

people

with different cultures as good rhymes and melodies of

music

are universal, and timeless

music

could be appreciated by both young and old generations with the help of cutting-edge technology.

Submitted by daviontran on Sat Feb 18 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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