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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#percentage #households #accommodation #england #wales #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the use of the fuel in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 from 1980 to 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
, Petrol and Oil have a huge lead on consumption the
usage
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Petrol and Oil constantly
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
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. Coal and Natural Gas
stands
Change the verb form
stand
show examples
Use synonyms
second
Change preposition
in second
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 and third position and steadily
fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
show examples
 over time. Meanwhile, Nuclear,Solar and
Hydropower
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 is lowest and steadily same. First of all, Petrol and oil tend to rise over time, in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
, in 1980,
usage
Use synonyms
 was only 35
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 units but in the future prediction consumption is nearly 50
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 units. Natural gas was the
second
Use synonyms
 one in 1980. After 1980, the
usage
Use synonyms
 of coal slightly increased and catches
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural gas. For future
projections
Add a comma
,projections
show examples
 coal
usage
Use synonyms
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
nearly double and will be
Use synonyms
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 one in
energy
Add an article
the energy
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 industry.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In 1980, nuclear, solar and
hydropower
Use synonyms
 used nearly 5
quadrillion
Use synonyms
 units.
Overtime
Correct your spelling
Over time
show examples
, Nuclear takes the lead with over 5
quadrillion
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
. Solar and
Hydropower
Use synonyms
 fluctuate for a
while
Linking Words
 but for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future predictions
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solar energy is going to pass
hydropower
Use synonyms
 energy will be
second
Use synonyms
 between
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them and fifth in general.
Submitted by erenar3 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words usage, second, hydropower, quadrillion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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