IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Mass media has an influence on people, particulary on younger generations. It plays a pivotal role on shaping the opinions of people, especially teenagers and young people. What do you think about it? please give example.

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In the modern era,
while
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 there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about
mass
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media
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 and its influence on
people
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 it leads to intriguing arguments and
broadense
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broadens
 a
persoin's
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person's
 horizon. In my opinion, I totally agree that
mass
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media
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 has
influence
Add an article
an influence
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 on
people
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, especially younger generations, and I am going to put my
forth
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fourth
show examples
 idea in
this
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 essay. At the
out set
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outset
show examples
, one of the key factors of my point of view is
mass
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media
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 sets the news agenda.
Moreover
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, it must be pointed out that it shapes the public's view
on
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of
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 what is newsworthy and important, and it would
also
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affect
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affects
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 on thoughts and behaviour of
people
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.
Forinstance
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For instance
, a recent
artecle
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article
 published
on
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in
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 Scientific American
reveald
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revealed
reveals
 that most
of
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apply
show examples
teenagers
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the teenagers
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 and young
people
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watching
Wrong verb form
watch
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televition
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television
 and follow all
media
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type
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types
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in
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on
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 social
media
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.
Therefore
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, the discourse proved that the
mass
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media
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 has an influence on
people
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 young
people
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.
Additionally
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, another important aspect
should
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that should
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 be highly
consederd
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considered
that
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is that
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 parents should follow what
thair
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their
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 kids watching
in
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on
show examples
televition
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television
.
Furthermore
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, it is noteworthy that
every thing
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everything
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 teenagers or kids
follw
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follow
 in
media
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 will affect
on
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apply
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their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 in the future.
Thus
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, the previous idea showed how to
controle
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control
media
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 in our houses. In conclusion, I hold to conclusive proof, which has been outlined above, that supports my thoughts on the effect of
media
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 in our
daly
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daily
 life, and
hence
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 I
strogly
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strongly
 believe that
media
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 has a pivotal role
on
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in
show examples
 shaping the opinions of
people
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 because it is full all times
espesially
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especially
 with teenagers.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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