IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough and other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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Making smoking illegal has been recognised as the best way to discourage
people
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 from smoking for some
people
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,
while
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 their counterparts argue that other measures should be implemented as well. In my opinion, I do not agree with the notion that making smoking illegal is the best solution as raising
people
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's awareness and increasing
cigarette
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prices
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 are effective as well. If the
government
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 force
people
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 not to
smoke
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 in public places,
otherwise
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 they will be punished, and the public might choose to
smoke
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 less than before. The
government
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 can impose penalties on
people
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 who
smoke
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 in the public including restaurants, hospitals, cinemas and on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Safeway.
For example
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, if
people
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 don't
smoke
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 in a private space, they will have to pay a fine which may adversely affect their quality of life as they have less money to spend on daily living.
Moreover
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, smokers can be punished to do community service. A community order requires offenders to perform a number of tasks for the community,
such
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 as tendering the public gardens, cleaning the streets and removing graffiti, which can foster a sense of responsibility. Despite the legal requirement for smoking in public areas, raising
people
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's awareness has a beneficial impact on discouraging smoking. The
government
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 can put non-commercial advertisements about the harmful effect of smoking on television. The audio-visual information which is easy to comprehend can attract smokers' attention. After knowing the downside of smoking,
people
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 might choose to
smoke
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 less. Another way to discourage smokers from smoking is that the
government
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 to increase
cigarette
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prices
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. By increasing the
prices
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,
people
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 have to spend more on purchasing cigarettes which means that they need to spend less
elsewhere
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.
For example
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, one pack of
cigarette
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's price goes up from $30 to $60.
Then
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 they have to cut the spending on clothing, food and transport so as to get the same amount of cigarettes as before which may have a negative impact on the well-being of
people
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. In conclusion,
although
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 strict laws can discourage
people
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 from smoking, I do not agree that
this
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 is the best way. I believe that raising
people
Use synonyms
's awareness and driving up
cigarette
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 can be recognised as effective as strict laws.

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