Young people who commit crimes should be treates in the same as adults who commit crime. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #treates #adults #crime

The diagram

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

us the process

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

is collected and

then

treated to be used as drinking

water

in an Australian town. First of all, in the upper right corner of

Add an article

the diagram

show examples

diagram

Add a comma

,diagram

show examples

we can see the start of the process. Rainwater from the roof

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

to the pipe and

then

fall into the drain.

After

this

liquid through pipes that are located under houses

Correct subject-verb agreement

goes

show examples

below to the first stage of treatment:

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

filter. After that

water

collected

Add a missing verb

is collected

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

huge bucket which is called storage. Because of the pressure

water

move to the second step of treatment. It

Change the verb form

also looks

show examples

also

looks like

square

Add an article

a square

show examples

bucket with

section

Add an article

a section

show examples

for chemicals on the top.

Change preposition

show examples

this

stage

water

and chemicals have

connection

Correct article usage

a connection

show examples

and

water

became

Wrong verb form

becomes

show examples

cleaner. The

last

phase of

this

process

begin

Change the verb form

begins

show examples

when

water

after

chemical

Correct article usage

a chemical

show examples

reaction

rise

Correct subject-verb agreement

rises

show examples

up the pipe into the house.

Overall

,only

after

this

manipulation

Add a comma

,manipulation

show examples

people in Australian

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

can drink

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

Submitted by dulskywork on Sun Feb 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

157 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?
In some parts of the world, while many students opt for living with their families while following tertiary education, some of them have decided to pursue education in another city. From my standpoint, I believe that one major challenge to this phenomenon, namely financial matters will be exceeded by some apparent merits it offers. Admittedly, students who take a university degree in another region are more likely to deal with financial constraints. Obviously, unlike individuals who study in their hometown where they receive better care from their parents, those students have to allocate budgets viably for living expenses. In other words, a plethora of factors such as accommodation, daily meals and recreational activities make up for a large amount of their expenditures, so people who do not have a solid financial background can find it a daunting task to continue following their studies. Notwithstanding the aforementioned notion, I am of the opinion that some benefits associated wi...
7
band
In many countries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspapers. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem
Recycling materials, namely as glass, plastic and cartons, is an important practice that helps to reduce our impact on the environment. Many folks across the world, however, do not recycle their waste and send everything to landfill. In this essay, I will Interpret why this might be the case and how the aforementioned problem can be alleviated.
4.5
band
Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Health is a basic right that every human should have. Thus, every government always have some of their budget to provide an adequate medical treatment. Be that as it may, however, there is an opinion that a country must also have a big proportion of its fund for health education and prevention measures rather than only for medical treatment. I strongly agree that such strategy will be the best step to improve health quality since it can minimizes the higher cost needed for treatment in the next future as well as be a generational cure for a disease. This essay will shed some light on this issue and the writer's point of view.
4.5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that prices of sugary products should be increased in order to prevent people getting health problems. This essay completely agrees with this statement because by increasing the price of high sugar products, these will not be profitable for the consumers, also individuals will be aware of how harmful these products are.
5
band
Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?
In this state-of-the-art era, the development of technology can be useful and harmful, connecting and dividing. This advancement has influenced the conventional ways of working because people are able to work from everywhere. This essay will elaborate on the merits and demerits of such development and show how the negative points outweigh the positive ones.

Young people who commit crimes should be treates in the same as adults who commit crime. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries , students live with their family while studying at a university . In other countries ,students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending outweigh the disadvantages ?

In many countries, people do not recycle waste materials, such as bottles and newspapers. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to solve this problem

Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?