Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #income #life #work

Along with

the outstanding development of society, the

relationship

between

people

is more complicated than in the past. Some

people

argue that working not only helps earn money but

also

extends the

relationship

circle

while

some believe that developing

social

Correct article usage

a social

show examples

life with non-colleagues is better. In

this

essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and state my personal thinking.

To begin

with, it is obviously advantageous to get along well with co-workers,

Firstly

, under the circumstances of having a hard-working time, the co-workers are great

people

willing to give a hand. They are the nearest

people

knowing

Wrong verb form

who know

show examples

which tasks are stuck and may be possible to support.

Secondly

, developing social relationships with them may create a great understanding between each other,

such

as working styles, mindset and personal characteristics, which is helpful and beneficial ,particularly in group work or tasks requiring high engagement. The more cohesion

has

Verb problem

show examples

in the workplace, the greater performance is.

For instance

, Human Resource practitioners in organisations clearly understand the benefits of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong

connection

Fix the agreement mistake

connections

show examples

in the workplace they organise lots of in-door and out-door activities to engage employees. Those activities not only create a great and relaxing time for employees but

also

help employees expand their circle of relationships.

Consequently

, improving social life with partners in the company is

such

a great choice with having income and

also

having friends.

On the other hand

, there is no denying that it is

also

good when

making

Verb problem

having

show examples

a social life with non-colleagues.

Above all

, there is no conflict in benefits relating to work in the

relationship

. When it comes to benefits,

people

can become more selfish,

then

the

relationship

also

worse day by day, and it

broke

Wrong verb form

breaks

show examples

later.

People

tend to express themselves clearly with no fear of being taken advantage of, which is

such

a healthy

relationship

For example

, some

people

match in working styles but have conflicts of interest that

effecting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

negatively to their department, particularly in group performance.

For

this

reason, it is better to develop a social circle with

people

not working.

To sum up

, I support the fact that becoming an employee not only has income but

also

social relationships because of these prominent advantages.

Submitted by visible123 on Sun Feb 19 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing a personal opinion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, and the essay follows a logical structure. However, there are some issues with supporting the main points effectively.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

363 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Environment damage is a problem in most countries. What are the major causes of environmental damage? Who is responsible for preventing environmental damage?

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (such as the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poor countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aids. Agree or disagree?