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Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
Retirement is something pursued by almost all the population. There are multiple kinds of
work
, which demands different body and mental efforts. Having a common hard-stop
age
 for everyone is democratic, but some categories may need to stop working earlier. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will expose why I disagree that everyone should stop working at an equal certain
age
, and which kind of worker should stop working before. The corporate world
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many kinds of disciplines to
work
 with, but all of them
demands
Correct subject-verb agreement
demand
show examples
 similar mental
effort
.
For example
, I have experience working in a bank and working in the finance department of a multinational company
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and bought demanded similar mental
effort
.
Although
 it has some
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 related to the environment, it is almost the same
effort
. Given that, setting an equal retirement
age
 for
this
 group of corporate office workers is a good idea. Since it will force people to retire, and it will make space for
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 to
work
.
However
,
this
age
 would need to be different to a trades worker.
Firstly
,
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
 that make careers at farms are demanded
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
much more body
effort
.
Secondly
, with time
this
 kind of worker feels the weight of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
life using force to harvest a field and the effects of the sun. Because of
this
, these categories may need to stop working earlier than the office workers. In conclusion, farmers are demanded differently than office
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 why for me it is accepted that they should retire before others, which makes me disagree that everyone should stop
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 at an equal
age
.
Submitted by miro.rados on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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