Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Recently the phenomenon has aroused wide concern
is
Correct word choice
that is
show examples
gorvement
Correct your spelling
government
should forbid
food
shops
selling
Change preposition
from selling
show examples
any
products
proven to be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
people’s
health
.
However
, there are a
lot
of bad
food
and drinks creating significant benefits for countries. In
this
essay, I will argue that
this
is unlikely to happen. It is true that nowadays society is increasingly developing,
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
will spend more attention protecting
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
of citizens. So, there are a
lot
of policies cultivated to forbid
shops
selling harmful
products
.
Moreover
, these policies contribute to
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
risks
Correct article usage
the risks
show examples
contract
Change preposition
of contracting
show examples
many diseases from toxic
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the mortality rate every year.
For example
, in
vietnam
Change the capitalization
Vietnam
show examples
,
shops
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
show examples
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
to sell sweet powder containing poisonous substances
make
Verb problem
that cause
show examples
cancer.
However
, knowing obviously a
lot
of
food
is not good for
health
, these
products
are still sold a
lot
in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
due to
their
economically
Change the word
economic
show examples
sound .To explain
this
fact, those
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
for sale in
market
Add an article
the market
a market
show examples
are impressive and
enomous
Correct your spelling
enormous
turnover for countries by
tax
Add an article
the tax
show examples
.
For instance
, instant
noodlle
Correct your spelling
noodle
noodles
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
convenience
food
, is growing
popularity
Replace the word
popular
show examples
in my country.
Although
it has a
lot
of ill effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
health
like increasing dangers to get diseases relating to obesity if eating it
frequenly
Correct your spelling
frequently
. Even though, there are many approvements to inhibit
of
Correct article usage
the of
show examples
selling many
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s
health
, people are unlikely to abandon consuming these harmful
products
so
still
Correct word choice
many still
show examples
exist
Verb problem
apply
show examples
many
shops
selling
its
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
therefore
Capitalize word
Therefore
show examples
, using
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
or not, it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on the sense of protecting
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
show examples
own
health
.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulations
  • accountability
  • retailers
  • public health
  • consumer choice
  • diet
  • banning
  • health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • economic impact
  • job losses
  • small businesses
  • complexity
  • beneficial
  • harmful
  • quantity consumed
  • individual health conditions
What to do next:
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