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Band 4.5

Many people today find they have insufficient time to spend with their families, because of pressures of work. What problems does this create for individuals and their families? What solutions can you propose? Which would be the most effective solution, in your view?

#people #time #families #pressures #work #create #individuals
We are living in
salad
Correct article usage
the salad
show examples
 days of the millennium. The world is growing beyond leaps and bounds,
thus
 creating a
culture
 of needs. To suffice
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
, employees are compelled to
work
over
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
time
 and have to take the burden
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their families. It is asserted that
due to
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
stress
, people are no longer able to enjoy quality
time
 with the family.
This
 trend has serious repercussions and
this
 essay divulges the problems generated
due to
 surging workload and
stress
.
To begin
 with, the increased
stress
 associated with
work
 and deteriorating family
time
 lead to plummeting job
statisfaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 among the workers.
This
further
 leads to absenteeism, burnout and magnifying turnover in staff,
consequently
 resulting in decreased productivity and
work
 satisfaction. One
such
 example is increased resignation among the hospital staff during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic.
Furthermore
, imploding family
time
,
unike
Correct your spelling
unlike
 anything can lead to
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
 and depression
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the working community. Shifting towards the second school of thought, higher rates of domestic violence are attributable to the increasing
work
 pressure and lesser relaxation
time
 with family.
This
further
 can pave
path
Add an article
the path
a path
show examples
 for higher divorce rates.
For instance
, during COVID-19, there was a surge in divorce rates among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors, owing to their increased job
stress
.
Additionally
,
this
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can
also
 impact the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of children.
However
, there are efficient steps that can be
par taken
Correct your spelling
partaken
show examples
 to ameliorate
this
 situation. Organisations should lay down policies on working
culture
 and
employ
Replace the word
employee
show examples
 assistance programs for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 staff.
Further
, an effective
leadship
Correct your spelling
leadership
 should be established, where the subjects can discuss
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 concerns and pressure
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their directors.
In addition
 to
this
, people should develop a family
culture
 that ensures
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
show examples
 amount of
time
 spent with family. To summarise,
work
 pressure can impact the
time
 spent with the family and thereby affect the mental and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical health of
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
as well as
 the organisation.
However
, undertaking certain steps can reduce the impact of
this
 and I strongly believe establishing a positive
work
culture
 and
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
effective leadership is the most vital step.
Submitted by dtifaniya on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. **Flexible working hours**: Work schedules that allow employees to vary their arrival and departure times.
  • 2. **Remote working**: Working from a location other than the traditional office, usually from home.
  • 3. **Work-life balance**: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • 4. **Mental health**: A person’s condition with regard to their psychological and emotional well-being.
  • 5. **Paid family leave**: Time off work with pay granted to employees to take care of family members.
  • 6. **Time management**: The process of planning and exercising conscious control of time spent on specific activities.
  • 7. **Prioritize**: To arrange or deal with in order of importance.
  • 8. **Guilt**: A feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation.
  • 9. **Neglected**: Suffering a lack of proper care.
  • 10. **Behavioral issues**: Actions and mannerisms exhibited by individuals, often resulting from stress or emotional instability.
  • 11. **Support systems**: Networks of people who provide an individual with practical or emotional support.
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