IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

More and more students are choosing to study in colleges and universities in foreign countries . Do the benefit of studying abroad outweigh the drawback ?

#students #study #colleges #universities #countries #benefit #drawback
As we can see that more and more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
students
 are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad for educational purposes .
Although
 , some argue that there are some drawbacks to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in foreign
nations
 .
However
 , I think that it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages . On the one hand , it is obvious that
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 in
a foreign countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a foreign country
foreign countries
show examples
 can help
students
 to be well educated
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prestigious colleges and universities and
as a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it can assist them to find
a better professions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better profession
better professions
show examples
 so easily and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in their lives . One other benefit of studying abroad is ,
Add an article
the
a
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 can have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
contact with foreign people and
therefore
 they can understand different cultures and traditions .
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
most foreign colleges contain
students
 from different
nations
 .
Hence
 spending time with
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of people in universities can assist
students
 to know about many customs and cultures of different
nations
.
On the other hand
 , there are some difficulties that youngsters face
while
 studying in a foreign country . The major problem among them is generating money for daily life needs . We can see that if a person enters a foreign
nations
Correct the article-noun agreement
nation
show examples
 as
Add an article
a
show examples
student , the main issue they endure is having money for shelter , food and educational purposes .
For example
 , in countries like the UK , oversea
students
 are facing a huge crisis to find a job for earning money for living expenses .
Moreover
 , sometimes
climate
Correct article usage
the climate
show examples
 in some oversea nation can create some serious health problems for
students
 .
Therefore
 , it will dramatically
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the fitness of
students
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
 they will unable to do their work or studies ; which
also
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 their living .
For instance
 , in
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 winter months can be quite difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
 because of dramatic
wheather
Correct your spelling
weather
whether
 variation , thereby creating some health issues.
To conclude
 , it is obvious that there are some disadvantages for
students
 to
educate
Replace the word
education
show examples
 abroad .
However
 , I think that it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages like
understand
Change the verb form
understanding
show examples
 new cultures and enrolling
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 prestigious colleges
Submitted by varshajose345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: