IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of working in same place as other members of your family? Give reasons or examples to support your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Working with family members in the workplace is one of the most debatable topics nowadays. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are convinced that it is good to do a job with relatives. Others argued that the disadvantages outweighed the benefits.
This
Linking Words
 essay provides an overview of the good and bad aspects of working in the same office with family members. First and foremost, doing a job with someone they
knew
Wrong verb form
have known
show examples
 for a long time,
such
Linking Words
 as a brother or sister, they will be more likely to share and express their opinion straightforwardly.
People
Use synonyms
 are more cowardly to give orders and speak their minds.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it promotes intimacy in the family. Since they have to meet each other on a daily basis
as well as
Linking Words
 discuss and talk to both in the office and at home. 
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 creates wealth within the households. To illustrate, in a family business, the owner usually be a father who employs their son to be a manager. Rather than spending a lot of money paying for someone they do not know, it is more worth it to pay for their son.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, conflicts are more likely to happen when
people
Use synonyms
 in the same household are working together. Because the relationship between each other is more complex. It is not only related to work but
also
Linking Words
 other statements get involved.
In addition
Linking Words
, the development of the organisation will be less diverse. As they
grew
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
 up in the same environment, their way of thinking and working will be similar.
Hence
Linking Words
, the outcomes of their contribution are not varied. In conclusion, working in a place with
people
Use synonyms
 in the family contains both advantages and disadvantages in terms of relationship, performance, and company income. In my perspective, applying for a job separately is better for both parties in order to avoid conflicts that are more likely to happen in the workplace.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize your points. Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Focus on fully addressing the task by providing a more complete and comprehensive response. Ensure that your ideas are clear and relevant, and support them with specific examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: