IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that the best way to motivate employees to work hard is to pay them high salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employees #work #salaries
The bar chart shows
amount
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the amount
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 of
people
 who were born in
Australia
 and outside
this
 country living in urban, rural and
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
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 between 1995 and 2010. It should be mentioned that percentage of the respondents born in
Australia
 living in rural areas made up 30% in 1995 but
quantity
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the quantity
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 of these
people
 changed
in
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by
show examples
 two times
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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and it constituted 15% in 2010. As for other counties, amount of
people
 living in
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 conditions was 40% in 1995 and
then
number
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the number
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 of these polled
people
 decreased
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eight times, making up 5% only in 2010. It turned out that
people
 who weren’t born in
Australia
 preferred living in cities to living in towns in 1995 (60% and 10% respectively). At the same time, in 2010 the category of these respondents living in cities (80%) was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eight times higher compared to that of those who chose
living
Change the verb form
to live
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 in towns (10%). In conclusion, the characteristics of human behaviour have changed and it can be noticed that
people
 born inside and outside
Australia
 more often choose
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in cities that cannot be related to living in towns and rural areas.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial incentive
  • tangible reward
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • attract top talent
  • retain employees
  • turnover rates
  • monetary compensation
  • job satisfaction
  • professional growth
  • work-life balance
  • non-monetary benefits
  • recognition
  • positive work environment
  • career advancement
  • employee loyalty
  • employee disengagement
  • transactional relationship
  • company's goals and values
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