IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a 'fat tax' is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#effect #individuals #society #people #government #tax #foods
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People
Use synonyms
 have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 on
Correct word choice
whether either
show examples
either
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 government should lay
Use synonyms
tax
Add an article
a tax
show examples
 on junk foods or
Use synonyms
tax free
Add a hyphen
tax-free
show examples
 because
huge
Correct article usage
the huge
show examples
 consumption of unhealthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 of diseases. Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
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the children
show examples
looking
Wrong verb form
look
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on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 purged packet
food
Use synonyms
 as a daily routine
instead
Linking Words
 of homemade
items
Use synonyms
. The upcoming paragraphs
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 explained about impact of
tax
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy nourishment. Every year many small
as well as
Linking Words
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
show examples
 shops or companies
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 processed
items
Use synonyms
 to enlarge their business. Earlier in sweets and bakery shops every day will prepare sweets freshly and do marketing. But nowadays,
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to increase their business level, prepacked foods exporting to many cities
hence
Linking Words
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of
chemical
Change the adjective
chemically
show examples
enhanced
Add a missing verb
is enhanced
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to preserve
food
Use synonyms
 for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
 time.
Hence
Linking Words
, if government keep
tax
Use synonyms
 on those frozen
items
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 will try to avoid those products.
Hence
Linking Words
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 gradually stop eating prepacked diets. It would bring each person to choose healthier
Use synonyms
food stuffs
Correct your spelling
foodstuffs
show examples
 and begin to have
homemade
Add an article
a homemade
show examples
 diet. Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 more
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
junk
food
Use synonyms
 because it is easy to get at
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 cheap cost. If
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
Use synonyms
tax free
Add a hyphen
tax-free
show examples
then
Linking Words
marketing
Correct article usage
the marketing
show examples
 level of many manufacturing companies will be increased including exporting to many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
. Anyhow Advertising company will promote customer to buy products
for example
Linking Words
 kinder joy which attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children by keeping toy
along with
Linking Words
 chocolates. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
small
Add an article
the small
show examples
 kids prefer to have
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 twice in a week. Some
potatoe
Correct your spelling
potato
potatoes
 chips like bingo
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
lays
Change the verb form
lay
show examples
 making
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
buy with different flavours
hence
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 were enjoying
to eat
Change the verb form
eating
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if those
materia
Correct your spelling
materials
without
Add a missing verb
are without
show examples
tax
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 starts to
but
Correct your spelling
buy
show examples
 which means
marketing
Add an article
the marketing
show examples
 of supplier organisation will be high benefits. In summary, I will support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opinion that government should lay
Use synonyms
tax
Add an article
a tax
show examples
 on prepacked
food
Use synonyms
items
Use synonyms
 because health is
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 concern rather than
business
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
.
Tax
Use synonyms
 will promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to maintain
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 balanced diet.
Submitted by aishwaryarkunnummal on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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