IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You applied to a job, were offered the position, but have decided not to accept the offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor with whom you interviewed. In your letter: •Explain the reason why you are declining the offer •Describe your reasons for staying with your current position •Express your gratitude Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Ms. Barry,

#job #position #offer #hr #supervisor #•explain #reason #•describe #•express #gratitude #addresses #ms #barry
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Dear Ms. Barry, I hope
this
Linking Words
 message finds you well. I am writing to formally decline the job offer for the position of Executive Producer at Ogilvy.
This
Linking Words
 decision was not easy for me, as I appreciate the opportunity and the time you and your team spent during the interview process. After careful consideration, I have decided to remain with my current employer.
While
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 the opportunity at Ogilvy is certainly appealing, I believe that I have significant ongoing projects and professional relationships that I wish to continue to nurture in my current role.
Additionally
Linking Words
, my current position aligns closely with my long-term career goals, and I feel it is the right time for me to explore
further
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 growth within that environment. I want to express my sincere gratitude for the offer and for the kindness and professionalism you showed me throughout the interview process. I have great respect for your team and the work that Ogilvy is doing, and I wish you all continued success in the future. Thank you once again for your understanding. Warm regards, Trang Dao
Submitted by minhtrang.dao on

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task achievement
Try to add a little more detail about your current role to strengthen your reasoning for staying.
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down the second paragraph into two for even clearer structure.
task achievement
Your letter maintains a respectful and professional tone throughout, which is perfect for this context.
coherence cohesion
The letter opens with a clear purpose and closes with gratitude, creating a nice structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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