IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The government should control the use of the internet in a country

Numerous
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the
internet
Use synonyms
 should be controlled by the authorities. Other
people
Use synonyms
 think that they will not have privacy anymore. if that will be the case. I believe that the government should control the
internet
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because many
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays are a victim of online
fraud
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the government can reduce fake
news
Use synonyms
 by a controlling capacity. I will now explain my arguments
further
Linking Words
 in detail in the following paragraphs. To start with online
fraud
Use synonyms
, Many
people
Use synonyms
 are victims of online
fraud
Use synonyms
, and
people
Use synonyms
 who are older are more vulnerable to becoming a victim because they have less digital knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, 30% of all
people
Use synonyms
 in The Netherlands are victims of online
fraud
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, criminals continuously find other ways to steal money or other valuable things online. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is an increase in fake
news
Use synonyms
 on
internet
Use synonyms
 platforms. Fake
news
Use synonyms
 is often
spread
Use synonyms
 by
people
Use synonyms
 who want to
spread
Use synonyms
 lies about a sensitive dilemma.
In addition
Linking Words
, numerous
people
Use synonyms
 do not understand the difference between fake
news
Use synonyms
 and
news
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, fake
news
Use synonyms
 is often
spread
Use synonyms
 by
people
Use synonyms
 who pretend to be real media platforms.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that fake
news
Use synonyms
 can cause a lot of damage to our lives.
However
Linking Words
, I have to agree that society probably will have less privacy.
this
Linking Words
 despite, I believe that it is more important to protect society from online
fraud
Use synonyms
 and the
spread
Use synonyms
 of fake
news
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 should be controlled by the government to drop the accidents of online
fraud
Use synonyms
 and fake
news
Use synonyms
. Less privacy is not as much important as cyber safety.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: