Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose

It is considered by many people that the best place to entertain is the museum

while

others argue that the gallery could be used as a source of education.

This

essay will highlight both sides' points of view and as far as I am concerned, I am in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of education believers. To commence with the view that some individuals consider the museum as an entertainment location. To elaborate, Many tourists are keen to visit other nations' museums to explore their cultures and traditions by which they can enjoy their vacation time with their families and friends.

For instance

, in 2009, there was a record in Indian history of about 800 Thousand foreigners visiting the Taj Mahal gallery.

Thus

, few numbers of people love to visit all types of museums for their enjoyable

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

However

, museums could be highly beneficial for

students

in their education which we will explore in the next paragraph. As for the educational view of a museum, many

students

could get various types of information that could assist them in the class curriculum.

In other words

Students

can choose the type of

galleries

as per their subject as art pupils who can visit the Art gallery which can help them to easily understand the university syllabus.

For example

, the government of Taiwan implemented the regulation that schools need to arrange trips to worldwide

galleries

which can broaden the

pupil's

Change noun form

pupils'

show examples

minds. It can help

students

to decide on their future profession.

Therefore

, Visiting the

galleries

for educational purposes is much more beneficial than entertainment. In conclusion,

Although

some people love to stop by types of

galleries

for their enjoyment with families during vacation, visiting them for study purposes is more advantageous than entertainment. which can motivate the

students

and aid them in better understanding.

Submitted by mandeepsinghsony2022 on Mon Feb 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the points in a clearer and more cohesive manner. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow a logical progression.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more developed. Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction and summarize the main points in the conclusion.

task achievement

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both views and giving a balanced opinion. Make sure to provide more comprehensive reasoning for your opinion with more specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Banking and their role in our life. Methods of paying.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?