Some people think watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It
Correct pronoun usage
Some
show examples
would be argued
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that what channel of learning is better for kids, which is taking watching
television
into account. In my opinion, despite some obvious
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of watching telly, I believe that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why some consider watching
television
as a detrimental factor for
children
. The main reason is that
television
screens are
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
culprit for their
eyes’
Change noun form
eyes
show examples
diseases. When
children
expose to these screens, they will seriously suffer from green light which causes a variety of illnesses
such
as myopia or sighted disorder. Worse still, nowadays, the majority of
children
spend their free time on
television
since there are numerous programmes attracting them.
As a result
,
green
Add an article
the green
a green
show examples
light will accumulate dramatically, so they are unable to avoid these dangerous diseases, which continually lead to more serious
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eyes when they get older.
On the other hand
, I would argue that the benefits are more significant than
such
advantages, which televisions are able to offer
children
the knowledge of mankind.
For example
,
children
can learn about rare animals or harsh environments
such
as
desert
Fix the agreement mistake
deserts
show examples
or
ocean
Fix the agreement mistake
oceans
show examples
by watching
vividly
Change the word
vivid
show examples
images or videos.
This
is because they can observe
habitats
Correct article usage
the habitats
show examples
of animals and their living customs which
widen
Correct subject-verb agreement
widens
show examples
their horizons about
natural
Add an article
the natural
show examples
world.
In addition
, TV shows of music, art and sports inspire
children
to realize their
true-calling
Correct your spelling
true calling
show examples
which will help them choose
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
occupations in the future. To be specific, they will be inspired and practice to recognise which job is suitable for them. In conclusion,
although
some people think that watching
television
is not a good way for learning, I personally believe that it brings more benefits than drawbacks.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: