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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this probleSm?

#people #exercise #time #health #problesm
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It
have
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has
show examples
 been widely debated that
people
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 nowadays have no sufficient
time
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 for exercise in their free
time
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 or during weekday
due to
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 their packed schedule, and that
lead
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leads
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 to pessimistic health issues. The reason why
people
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 in our society lack
of
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apply
show examples
work
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 out and some the practical solutions will be
elabotated
Correct your spelling
elaborated
 in
this
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 essay
To begin
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 with,
people
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's behaviour nowadays
have
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has
show examples
 been changing
repitedly
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repeatedly
rapidly
 compared with the past
due to
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 the
high
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highly
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 competitive workforce today world,
this
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 leads to workers
has
Wrong verb form
having
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 less
time
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 to focus on their own wellness or exercise in
daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
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 lifestyle. Take an employer at
tech
Add an article
a tech
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 company
for instance
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; they have to
work
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 from 9 to 5
everyday
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every day
show examples
 and some have to handle another part-
time
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 job
at
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on
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night
Correct article usage
the night
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 shift because the
finanfial
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financial
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
 that they are facing currently forces them to have more than one job as a backup plan.
Therefore
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,
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 with
muliple
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multiple
 careers can affect
to
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apply
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their
time
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 management for other activities.
However
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, some
people
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 believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
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 management can be very productive if
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would like to pay attention to their wellness by
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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 out.
For example
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,
wake
Wrong verb form
waking
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 up early for exercise or meditation for an hour before
work
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 can make you feel very refresh and active for a day.
Moreover
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, nowadays the fitness centre is
Correct quantifier usage
more acessible
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acessible
Correct your spelling
accessible
 than before and service for 24 hours
everydays
Correct your spelling
everyday
. From
this
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 perspective, I strongly believe that if individuals consider how
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
manges
Correct your spelling
manage
 their own
time
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, they can reap great benefits from it in terms of
physically
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physical
show examples
 and
mentally
Change the word
mental
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
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 it is undeniable that
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due to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 packed schedule
from
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at
show examples
work
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 can contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative consequences
to
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of
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 personal
live
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life
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such
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 as health issues, I am of the opinion that
know
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knows
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 how to manage
time
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 effectively can tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health problems and have a better
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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