IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the share of the Australian and British cinema markets in 2010 and cinema admissions in Britain and Australia from 1990 to 2010.

The bar chart shows information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Australian and the UK cinema markets in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 the line chart illustrates data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 film admissions between 1990 and 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, the US films were the highest percentage in both countries, around 75% in the UK and 66% in
Australia
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. Meanwhile, the second population choice of Britain was their local movies, with 20%,
whereas
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 other origins at 5%. And there were no Australian movies shown in England.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of Australian
film
Change to a plural noun
films
show examples
 shown in the market
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in
show examples
Australia
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 was less than the others, at 10% and 15% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the line graph shows cinema admissions in England and
Australia
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 during the two decades. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Australia
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 fluctuate with an upward trend, from
initially
Linking Words
 below 50
million
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 and rose slightly to 90
million
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at the end
Linking Words
. In 1994, Britain's admission hit a trough at 50%,
then
Linking Words
 recovered to 100
million
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 in 2000, the same level at the beginning. After that, it reached a peak of 150
million
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 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
 , the most popular movie shown in both practical places was the US file in 2010.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
expend
Replace the word
expenditure
show examples
 of Britain on cinema was always more than
Australia
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 during the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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