IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

“Higher salaries are better than other incentives for motivating workers.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#“higher #salaries #incentives #workers
Recently , the topic going around has been that larger salaries are better than other reasons for motivating workers . I actually both agree and disagree with
this
 statement and in
this
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essay I will give examples for both points and compare them and give a conclusion.
Firstly
, some employees' motivation could be more
money
 since they can do or buy
things
 that motivate them with
this
money
 they will get from their job .
For instance
 , if a worker
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 computers they can buy parts for their computer which would push them even
further
. Another example could be that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some people like to give back to the community it makes them feel good about themselves ,
Additionally
 , they can donate some of their earnings to an animal shelter
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would help the person mentally since they just helped out someone.
However
 , for some humans
Add a comma
,
show examples
their source of motivation could be from other
things
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not
money
 .
For example
 , going out with their family and friends could be one since they feel happy around them and
this
 can motivate them , for others it could be reading a book or even writing . As long as it is something they like doing it will give them the
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 to work because their brain wants to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
 again.
To sum up
 ,
although
 a higher
salarie
Correct your spelling
salary
salaries
 can motivate a worker
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 every human being is the same , for some it could just
Add a missing verb
be to
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do
things
 they enjoy doing . In my point of view ,
money
 isn't
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 for incentives it shows
change
Add an article
the change
a change
show examples
 from person to person.
Submitted by alikocak74 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: