IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As well as making money, businesses also have a responsibilty towards society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that these days
business
Punctuation problem
, business
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 has a high effect on society in various ways .
Therefore
Linking Words
, we can
that
Verb problem
see that
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 businesses
also
Linking Words
 have a duty towards the community. The question is, what are the responsibilities that businesses have
in
Change preposition
to
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 order
of
Change preposition
apply
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population? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to show to what extent I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in terms of causes ,unlike the thought of others that it is a redundant career and does not help the community to develop business companies
also
Linking Words
 care and assist to improve the economy and the world in several ways. The main reason to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that everything is related to
this
Linking Words
 industry ,
for example
Linking Words
, education, health, economics and many other categories. To illustrate,
Linking Words
also it has
Correct word order
it has also
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 reinforced the contrary income and decreased the unemployment rate by more than 10 per cent in the
last
Linking Words
 decade.
In other words
Linking Words
, businesses created an opportunity for employees to join volunteer
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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 which can spread out
great
Correct article usage
A great
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 moral behaviour standard which increases the
individual
Check wording
individual's
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 inferred . In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
 there are some people who could disagree with my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 I believe that they should consider the benefit that trade accrues to us and how
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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raise
Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
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 awareness ,
also
Linking Words
 I believe that they have a very crucial role to
do
Verb problem
play
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. There
where
Punctuation problem
, where
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 I can say that I truly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, nevertheless
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nevertheless
Punctuation problem
nevertheless,
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 we as a part of
this
Linking Words
 society must support all the categories and units of our power.

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task
Plan your essay before you write. State your view in one clear sentence at the start.
coherence
Put one main idea in each paragraph. Do not mix ideas in one paragraph.
language
Use simple link words to show flow, like and, but, so, for example.
content
Give small, real examples that fit the question.
language
Check grammar and spell very small words. Short, clear sentences help a lot.
structure
Finish with a short conclusion that restates your view.
content
You show a clear view about the topic.
structure
You try to give reason and to link the idea to society.
structure
There is an intro and a ending in your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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