IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that salary is important.to what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, when we want to choose a job ,we mostly keep attention to how high the salary is ,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 which they have offered us.
While
Linking Words
 there are many other things that must be cared about whenever we take a job opportunity. I will discuss both views and
lastly
Linking Words
, give my opinion. On the one hand,money is very necessary for all of us to meet our needs.Because of
Add a comma
,no-earnings
show examples
no-earnings
Correct your spelling
no earnings
show examples
 we can't attend our other activities
besides
Linking Words
 our business.
For example
Linking Words
,a person who wants to enjoy his leisure time
such
Linking Words
 as travelling to tourist attractions must have a specific amount of money to spend there. Meanwhile,most of today's resources have to be in pay like education,bills,medical care,etc.
For instance
Linking Words
, imagine that you have just started your favourite work and you have received the signing bonus, so you are able to visit a doctor or
check-up
Correct your spelling
check up
show examples
 if you get sick. Eventually, living only for entertainment or non-financial factors could result in trouble through supporting yourself.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 salary has an important role in approving a situation, other considerations are as important as it.
To begin
Linking Words
,a strong connection with our colleagues in the job space is too essential.
For example
Linking Words
,most of us can't deal with unfriendly cooperation with co-workers in many projects.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the worker's talent and skills have to be in priority for a special career.
For instance
Linking Words
,a freshman has to learn what relates to his work to have a professional achievement
besides
Linking Words
 the position he would reach. Accurate and skilful people are identified to have much more success in their tasks.
To sum up
Linking Words
,I personally think that the money which we expect from our career is one of the major demands,
whereas
Linking Words
 other factors are equally serious

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: