IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to shop in traditional stores. Other people prefer to do their shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #shop #stores
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In the modern
world
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,world
show examples
 we have a
lot
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 of opportunities, which make our daily life easier. Some of them can allow us to save
time
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 for the most important things. We can use certain websites or apps for shopping online.
According to
Linking Words
 that, we can buy
food
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, clothes, tools, electronic devices or things for pets just
staying
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by staying
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 at home.
Moreover
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, we
don’t
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 need to be at home and wait for our
goods
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 to be delivered. We decide and choose the right
time
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 when it will happen.
However
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, there are a
lot
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 of
people
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 who
don’t
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 support that idea and want to shop by themselves. Despite the fact that a
lot
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 of us live in really comfortable conditions and we
also
Linking Words
 have some
stores
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 nearby home and office, our life becomes very fast. We always need to rush, we
don’t
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 have enough
time
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 for our habits or family. The first
reason
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 for shopping online is to be willing to save
time
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 as much as possible.
For example
Linking Words
,
buying
Change preposition
by buying
show examples
 some
goods
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 online
while
Linking Words
 having lunch at work, we can save a minimum of one or two hours and spend
this
Linking Words
time
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 walking with friends or children.
In contrast
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, if we decide to go to traditional
stores
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, we just waste our free
time
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 because of traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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,
queues
Correct word choice
and queues
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 in
stores
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.
Linking Words
Also
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,Also
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 we can buy some extra
food
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 because of hunger after work. The second
reason
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 for shopping online is the possibility of buying a
lot
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 of different foreign
goods
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. We
don’t
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 need to fly to other countries if we want medicine or cosmetics from Israel, bags or shoes from Italy and unusual
food
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 from China. We just need to download an app and have a bank account.
Such
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 an opportunity will allow
people
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 to buy any necessary
goods
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, make an interesting gift, buy tickets for any concert, go on a trip or just buy
food
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 for a romantic dinner.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
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,Nevertheless
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 many
people
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 prefer traditional shopping. The first
reason
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 is the desire to see the product live, touch it and make your own choice. Even though delivery apps are responsible for the quality of the product, sometimes you don't get what you expected,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of that,
people
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 just
don’t
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 trust online shopping. In my opinion, the second
reason
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 is just a habit. Many
people
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 like to go shopping, look for something new, try on clothes and think about every detail.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for many
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people
Add a comma
,people
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 it is a kind of therapy and relaxation. In conclusion, buying
goods
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 online really provides many ways and solutions from the most mundane to the most unusual issues, it
also
Linking Words
 gives
the
Correct pronoun usage
us the
show examples
 opportunity to save
time
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, which is very valuable and necessary for us. But there are
also
Linking Words
 advantages to buying
goods
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 in traditional
stores
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. We can always choose one or another option that suits us better, try to change our habits or stick to our principles.
Submitted by nikolettliny on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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