In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contemporary epoch,there is
heated
Add an article
a heated
the heated

The noun phrase heated argument seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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argument about
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view that
order
Change preposition
in order

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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to decrease the
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rate,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to attack the cause of
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like untaught opportunities.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,it is not sufficient to have a lot of police on the street and more individuals put into prison.I partially agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

given mentioned phenomenon.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

both
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
view will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed

It appears that the form of the verb discuss does not work with be in this sentence.

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in the upcoming paragraph with
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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logical conclusion. There
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject adequate evidence. Consider changing the verb form.

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adequate evidence of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view which are substantial.The first and foremost reason is
that
Correct determiner usage
the

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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higher fees
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools

It seems that school may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and institutes.Nowadays universities increase their fee structure so poor
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

do not think about their graduation.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of learning they use to
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
prefer

If you don’t want preffered to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to do online
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes

It seems that crime may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as online scams and money trafficking.Adding more to it from the research of
State
Correct article usage
the State

Your article usage with the geographic name State University Of California may be incorrect.

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University Of California there are 1 million
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

had
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb had appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
scamed
Correct your spelling
scammed

If you don’t want scamed to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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scammers in 2017 who never even studied high school. Probing ahead,if the government alert so many cops on the streets nobody sure that the
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

rate will
be become
Change to the active voice
become
have become

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb become in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

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lesser.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,if the criminals think that we will do some incident in that place they will definitely do even the more police alert there or even cops will
cought
Correct your spelling
caught
count

If you don’t want cought to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

them and put them
inside
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
jail
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will not stop
Such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as rape,murder,snatching,kidnapping etc. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In conclusion. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

put
inside
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
prison is not a solution
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after they come out
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
jail criminals will do more
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes

It seems that crime may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
so in
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
should have to
held
Change the verb
hold

It appears that the verb held should be in the base form as part of the to-infinitive following have. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a camp
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
stop
crime
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

educational institutes
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

must have to compromise about fees and all so everyone can study well and make the
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

crime free
Add a hyphen
crime-free

It appears that crime free is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
state.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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